Debate season is upon us and as sure as night turns to day, you will hear the same words the following key phrases by Romney and Ryan. Confused by the eerie repetition? Check out our primer to Republican debate jargon.
Socialist (adj.) - Any government program that doesn’t directly benefit wealthy people or corporations. Example: “Obama’s socialist policies are destroying the values that made this country great; things like labor-bashing, sexism and racial discrimination.”
Job Creator (n.) – A corporate executive who makes huge contributions to Republican candidates in an effort to pay as few taxes as possible. Example: “I’m a job creator! I don’t sit around all day sucking on the government teat. I give my hard earned money to lobbyists who make damn sure I get the corporate welfare I deserve.”
Food Stamps (n.) – Hey white people: a bunch of lazy black people are eating all your food! Example: “47 percent of voters think they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.” * Mitt Romney actually said this.
Global leadership (n.) – Please forget that we started and couldn’t finish two unfunded wars and failed to find Bin Laden. Example: “We need to re-establish our global leadership, and by that I mean remotely with AGM-114 Hellfire Missiles. Or as I like to call them, Freedom Rockets.”
Small government (n.) - Society works best when the government is off your back but in your bedroom. Example: “Small government is the best way to grow our economy. And by ‘grow our economy’ I mean raise the pay of people who are already rich.”
Privatize (v.) – Transferring government functions to the people who bankroll your campaign. Example: “We should privatize Medicare and replace it with coupons. Did I say coupons? I meant vouchers. They’re two totally different things, I swear.”
Obamacare (n.) – A health care plan created by conservatives, implemented by Romney and then demonized by Republicans when embraced by the President. Example: “Obamacare is going to kill your grandmother just like it did in Massachusetts where I implemented it.”
Securing the border (v.) – Look out working class white people, the Mexicans are coming to take your jobs. Example: “Unless we secure the border, immigrants are going to take the jobs we would never do anyway.